


The Adventures of Daisy 2

by Abhorsen44



Series: Jurassic Newt [4]
Category: Jurassic Park (Movies), Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Jurassic Park, Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Dinosaurs, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-13 12:23:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4521804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abhorsen44/pseuds/Abhorsen44
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Adventures of Daisy 2 as she and her two owners, Rocking Man (Hermann) and Spiky Man (Newt), try and figure out how to raise a pea-brained, genetically-modified pygmy brachiosaurus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introducing Daisy

**Author's Note:**

> These are all just baby flufflets starring our favorite tiny dinosaur.

She only had swirly memories of bright lights and cold metal things and grabbing hands, but she was much happier in the new nest that the spiky man had brought her to than she had been in the lab. She knew enough to be wary when the spiky one tried to pick her up and put her back into the box. She meeped pathetically and scrabbled her tiny legs, stretching her neck out to try and force the lid back open. The box swayed alarmingly before being thunked down. Daisy heard raised voices and began trying to tip the box over to escape, but her plan was foiled when the box lid was suddenly gone and hands were reaching for her. “Meeeeep!”

 

She was lifted and cradled against a bony shoulder, a wave of happiness and joy coming from the man. “Meep?” she asked tentatively, and he began rocking her. Ooooh, chin scritches. This was lovely. Rocking man stopped suddenly and started yelling at spiky man, which she enjoyed less. “Meep!” she said emphatically, butting her head against the man’s shoulder. The cuddling continued, and the man crooned, “My Daisy.”

 

That evening, following an enthusiastic belly rub, she was wrapped in a cocoon of warm towels. Chirping contentedly, she circled three times before nesting underneath the pile. She liked this place.


	2. The Red Towel

Daisy liked her name. She liked it when Rocking Man called her ‘Daisy’ and ‘My Daisy’. She also liked it when Spiky Man called her ‘Twoie’. She didn’t like it when they shouted “DAISY!” and always tried to hide; it usually had something to do with poo or stolen towels. She didn’t understand their obsession, but as long as they kept up with the food and chin scritches she didn’t care all that much. They also yelled at each other quite a bit, so Daisy didn’t think it was too terribly bad. She didn’t think a lot, to be honest. The brain size of a full size brachiosaurus was tiny compared to their cranial mass, and she was tiny compared to a full size brachiosaurus. ‘Pea-brain’ was less an insult and more of an accurate assessment.

Daisy peered around the side of the couch towards the closed bathroom door. The humans had gotten smarter about hiding the towels, but there was one place that they were guaranteed to be. Spiky Man opened the bathroom door, humming absently as he dried his hair. Around his waist was the red towel. 

Daisy dashed forward, ninja like, and snagged the edge of the red towel with her teeth. “Hey!” Spiky man shouted, managing to grab ahold of the other end before she made it down the hallway. Daisy wiggled her tail and pulled as hard as she could, but Spiky Man wrenched the towel back. 

“Ahah!” said Spiky Man. 

Daisy launched herself at his legs, hissing. 

“Dude, hey HEY DAISY TWO STOP THAT.” 

Galloping down the hallway, red towel trailing behind her, Daisy made it to the bedroom. Dashing over to her nest, she carefully arranged the red towel on top and then dived underneath the pile. 

She could hear Spiky Man cursing from the front room. The outside door opened and there was a squack that could only have come from Rocking Man, returning to the nest.

“Newton, why are you naked? I thought you were going to the lab?”

“I am! Twoie stole my towel!” 

“Again?”

“It’s the red one, she likes the red one for some reason! And she HISSED at me when I tried to get it back!”

“Honestly, Newton, you just have to be firm.” Daisy heard Rocking Man stomp down the hallway and snuggled further underneath her stolen towel. 

A gentle hand reached underneath and stroked her belly. Daisy chirped and wrapped her tail around his wrist. “Darling girl,” he said fondly, “come here, come here.” 

He drew her out slowly and tucked her into his shirt before grabbing the towel and walking back to the living room. “Here,” he said, throwing Daisy’s towel at Spiky Man. Daisy hissed, displeased. 

“See!” Spiky Man shouted, pointing at Daisy, “She HISSED.”

“That’s because you are SCARING HER, NEWTON!” Rocking Man whispered fiercely. Sensing a scream fight approaching, Daisy wiggled impatiently and tried to get down. Rocking Man set her on the floor and she hurried over to Spiky Man, chirping urgently. “What is it, boy, Timmy fall in a well?!” Spiky Man asked, leaning over. Daisy looked at him entreatingly as she fell over sadly, craning her neck towards him. “Aww, I’m not mad, sweetie.” He began rubbing her tummy, and while he was distracted she stretched out her head and delicately grabbed the towel in her mouth before running as fast as she could back to the bedroom. 

She didn’t get to keep her prize, but the next day there was a brand new fuzzy addition to her nest. A lovely, cuddly felt blanket. And it was red.


	3. Play-Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Owen brings Falafel over for a play date, and Hermann is not amused when he finds out.

No, Daisy did not like this one bit. She backed into a corner, hissing, as the velociraptor stalked towards her. 

“Nope nope nope, bad Flaffy,” Owen said, scooping up the tiny velociraptor who growled and tried to bite one of his fingers off. Owen just sighed and scruffed the pygmy dinosaur who struggled before going limp and chirping. “Why is it the little one who thinks she’s the alpha, huh?” Owen asked Newt. 

“Flaffy?” Newt replied, head in the fridge, looking for beer. 

“Falafel is the big guy,” Owen answered, “Still can’t believe you named her Falafel.” When Newt had created pygmy versions of their favorite dinosaurs, he was admittedly non-creative in naming Daisy 2 and Falafel 2. 

“I should never have power,” Newt agreed, pulling two beers out of the fridge. 

“Which is why you waited until Hermann was out of town to arrange the ‘play-date’, huh?” Owen said, beer in one hand, sulky pygmy velociraptor in the other. 

“They were hatched at the same time, I thought they might miss each other!” Newt exclaimed, heading towards the couch. Owen shook the tiny velociraptor warningly before setting her back on the ground. “You are so full of shit,” Owen said. 

“That too,” Newt nudged at Daisy with his foot; she had snuck up and hidden behind his legs, peeking out occasionally to glare at Falafel. 

As the two men talked Daisy formulated a plan. It was modified from her ‘sneak attack cuddle plan’ where she deliberately tripped one of her people and then acted hurt in order to get attention. Newt had figured it out after the third strike, but Hermann fell for it every time.

Daisy waddled towards Falafel slowly, who was begging for treats next to the couch; she stretched out her neck and deliberately bit the velociraptor’s tail. Falafel whirled, crouching down and letting out a warning cry before attacking. Daisy had just one moment to realize that this was not a very good plan before she was side kicked by a tiny velociraptor. 

Daisy trumpeted as loudly as she could to alert her human to the danger and scrambled across the floor.

“What was that noise?” Owen said, “It sounded like a kazoo.” 

“I didn’t hear anything,” Newt said, who hadn’t heard anything because he was explaining to Owen, very loudly, why the color blue was important. 

Daisy trumpeted again, swerving around the side of the couch. “Daisy?” Newt was incredulous. 

Owen stared at Daisy, who was simultaneously trying to run away and slap Falafel with her tail and kind of failing at both, and collapsed into giggles. “Oh- oh- my- god -your -dinosaur -sounds- like *gasp gasp* a KAZOOOOO!” 

Newt, who was already filming the epic battle on his phone, asked, “Do you think we should stop them?” 

“Naw,” said Owen, gasping, “One of these days Daisy’ll figure out she’s three times the size of Flaffy and just sit on her.” 

Daisy, running for her life and furious at the humans for not realizing the danger they were all in, trumpeted as she slid across the floor towards the bedroom, Falafel close behind. The battle waged for at least twenty minutes until Owen distracted Falafel with bacon and Daisy collapsed, tuckered out, crawling into her nest. She didn’t notice when Falafel snuck in five minutes later and curled up next to her, but Newt did. He snapped a picture on his phone of the pygmy brachiosaurus curled around the pygmy velociraptor, both snuggled beneath a red felt blanket. 

…

Newt was skyping with Hermann that evening, trying once again to cajole Hermann into at least taking his shirt off since he was one of the few presenters in a single hotel room at the conference, when he blurted out, “and you’ll never guess what Daisy did! She tried to trumpet, you know, like the big dinos do? And she SOUNDS LIKE A KAZOO! How crazy is that?” 

Hermann froze, and Newt was worried that the Skype connection had gone wonky before Hermann asked quietly, “And why was she making that sound? Correct me if I am wrong, but that sound is generally a fear response to alert the herd to danger. Why would she make that sound IF SHE WASN’T IN DANGER, NEWTON. BECAUSE CLEARLY THERE WAS NO WAY THAT MY DAISY WAS IN ANY TYPE OF DANGER, JA?” 

“Not, like, ACTUAL danger,” Newt muttered, and emailed Hermann the video of Daisy and Falafel. Newt watched Hermann watch the video and tried to speak, “See? She wasn’t –“ Newt managed before being shushed by Hermann. 

There was an awkward silence as the video finished. “So. You decided to let that tiny menace into my home and terrorize my pet while I was not there?” Hermann asked, almost gently. 

“It was a play-date, like socialization? The cat book says -” 

“I DO NOT WISH DAISY TO BE SOCIALIZED BY A PSYCHOPATHIC MINIATURE VELOCIRAPTOR.”

“Oooo- kay, fine. Sorry.” Newt grimaced at the computer hopefully, sharing a link to the photo of the two pygmy dinosaurs sleeping together, “See? They really do like each other. When neither of them are awake.” 

Hermann abruptly ended the skype connection and Newt’s heart sank. Hermann was really pissed off. Newt closed the laptop and shuffled towards the kitchen, mumbling to himself. “It’s not like it was unsupervised or anything, like, I was watching, k? I wouldn’t have let anything happen.” 

Five beers and three drunken voicemails later and Newt was sitting on the bedroom floor next to Daisy’s nest. Daisy was sleeping on her back, four legs straight in the air, long neck at an awkward angle and head resting on the floor. “YOU STILL LOVE ME DON’T YOU DAISY?” Newt whispered loudly. 

A delicate snore was his only response, and he let out a hiccupping sob before curling up on the floor next to the nesting sauropod. 

…

 

Newt woke to a splitting headache and a dinosaur butt in his face. “Grngleshnaffr?” 

“Charming,” came Hermann’s voice from above him. 

Newt slowly realized that he was on the floor of their bedroom and Daisy was sleeping on his face with her tail wrapped around his neck. And that Hermann was home three days early. 

Newt tried to sit up but Daisy kicked his nose and throttled him with her tail until he stopped moving. He looked up at Hermann and attempted a smile. “Yr hum rlee?”

“You know I try to be angry with you, Newton, I really do, you make it very easy to hate you, and then,” Hermann gestured helplessly, “I get home and you and my favorite girl are sleeping on the floor and I have three drunken voicemails to blackmail you with.” 

Newton scrunched his eyebrows together, trying to figure out what Hermann was saying. “Lubb yoo too?” he asked. 

“Go back to sleep, idiot.”

“K.” Newt collapsed back to floor, head resting on Daisy’s pile of stolen towels and blankets. A blanket was draped over him and he fell back asleep to the lullaby his two favorite sounds, Hermann cursing as he kicked over Newt’s tower of empty beer bottles and snoring pygmy dinosaur.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a whole wish list of things for Daisy to do, I hope you are enjoying her adventures!


	4. The Great Outdoors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daisy didn’t like the outdoors. It was cold, and scary, and had an appalling lack of towels.

Today was the day. Daisy could feel it. She crept towards the front door and froze as she heard her humans behind her. They were early! They were ruining her entire plan! 

“BYE HERMS!” Newt shouted, shoving a piece of toast towards his face and grabbing his coat. He juggled his keys and flung open the front door before racing towards the waiting jeep. Daisy blinked once before galloping through the slowly closing door. 

SUCCESS! She was in the outside! Daisy chirped triumphantly and stomped her way across the ground, tripping over the uneven grass. What? WHAT WAS THIS?! She stretched out her neck, sniffing at the grass. Huh. IT TASTES DELICIOUS! WHAT A WONDERFUL PLACE OUTSIDE IS! Daisy rolled around on her back in the grass, chewing happily. She stopped suddenly as a thought occurred to her: what if other outside things taste good, too? She must investigate! With an excited chirp she investigated flowers (good), rocks (not good), cement (really not good) and trees (passable). 

A bright flash caught her attention. WHAT WHAT? A brightly colored bird flew low to the ground, landing mere feet away from Daisy. It was unfortunate luck that the bird happened to be red. With an excited ‘MEEP!’ Daisy lunged. The bird hopped away, regarding Daisy curiously. Daisy, gleefully chasing her new friend, didn’t notice how far away from home she was getting until a low rumble stopped her in her tracks. 

Daisy looked around cautiously. In her experience rumbling meant an approaching vehicle or Newt watching Godzilla with the sound turned way up. But this sounded different. 

The bird Daisy had been chasing took off suddenly as the rumbling got closer. Daisy circled, looking for home, but all she saw were trees. She huddled underneath a fern and wrapped her tail around her feet. 

Through the brush came an exceedingly large (to Daisy) dinosaur. It slowly meandered through her line of sight, stopping occasionally to chomp on a tree or a bush. Daisy tried to make herself as small as possible as the dinosaur came closer and began munching on the fern she was hiding under. “Meep?” she asked hopefully. The dinosaur looked at her stupidly, bits of fern hanging out of its giant mouth, before rearing back with a startled, “GWAH!” Daisy dodged the stomping feet only to be almost squished by the giant’s freaky looking tail. Daisy turned and began running as fast as she could. When she couldn’t run any longer, when she was starting to trip over her feet and her head began hanging lower, she crept into a hollow log. Flopping over onto her side, Daisy considered her choices. 

“Meep. MEEP,” she began calling sadly. Surely this would work, it always brought Hermann running. Oddly enough, the sad meep brought neither food nor human. Stretching her neck out to graze on the grass outside the log, Daisy felt that things weren’t all that bad. She had food, a nest to hide in, and her human would undoubtedly be along any minute. It could be worse. 

It began to rain. An annoyed Daisy sulked inside the hollow log, grumbling. This was HELL. Daisy didn’t like the outdoors. It was cold, and scary, and had an appalling lack of towels. 

Soon it was dark. Daisy shivered, and began crying. “Meeeeeeep! MEEEEEEEEEEEP!” 

“Daisy?!” A soft voice floated through the jungle. 

Daisy raced outside, heedless of the rain, calling, “Meep! MEEP! MEEP!” A small bobbing light was headed towards her through the forest, and Daisy ran towards it. She didn’t care what it was, human, dinosaur, floating light monster; at least it knew her name! 

Crying and wet, Daisy sprinted directly into a pair of legs and was immediately picked up. “meep” whined Daisy pathetically. 

“I know, poor baby,” came the soft voice again, and Daisy recognized Mako as the other human from her hatching. Burrowing underneath Mako’s jacket, Daisy heard Mako say into the radio, “I found her, over by where the Anky got loose earlier. No, no, keep him there, I am headed your way.” 

Mako began humming and walking, and the warmth and movement lulled Daisy into a light doze. She woke to the sound of her human, Hermann, shouting her name. Daisy struggled to get loose from Mako’s jacket. Mako gently held her out and Daisy craned her neck towards her human, “meepmeepMEEPMEEPmeepMEEP!”

Seconds later she was enfolded in familiar arms and the right smell. The arms were shaking and Daisy licked her human’s face. Hermann was sobbing and smiling at the same time, looking a tiny bit like an electrocuted frog in a sweater vest. Daisy had never been happier.

“I looked for you and you were GONE, where did you GO, you silly girl?! I was so worried! I walked for hours and hours trying to find you.” 

Daisy butted Hermann’s hand with her head, impatient for her chin scritches. Hermann obliged before cuddling her to his face. “Oh my Daisy. Do not leave me.” 

“MEEP,” Daisy emphatically agreed. 

“TWOIE!” A voice shouted from an approaching jeep. Newt leapt out before the vehicle even stopped, staggering and taking a knee before sprinting towards them. Daisy found herself squished between her two humans. 

An alarmed squawk and wiggle later and Daisy was perched on Newt’s shoulder. “Is she ok? Are YOU ok?” 

“Fine, fine,” Hermann brushed his questions off, reaching for Daisy. 

“No, dude, not fine. You were limping pretty bad by the time –“

“IT’S. FINE.” Hermann shouted, grabbing Daisy and tucking her under his arm as he limped towards the jeep. 

Daisy, dangling happily from her favorite human’s arms, chirped at Newt. Food. Towels. Squeaky toy. Towels. More food. 

She was never leaving home without her towel again, that was for sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Daisy! Poor Hermann!


	5. Hermann and the Daisys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt thinks that Daisy 2 and Daisy 1 should hang out. Hermann isn't sure that it's a good idea...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven't forgotten about this!

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Hermann asked, placing Daisy carefully into a box with her favorite red towel.

“The cat book said that she went outside because she was bored. She needs stimuli, ya know?” Newt grinned.

“And I’m sure that a book about cat behavior has a lot of insight into the mannerisms of a genetically modified pygmy brachiosaurus.”

“Come on, a field trip will be fun! Plus I’ve always wanted them to meet each other. Don’t pretend like this isn’t going to be awesome. Falafel 1 and 2 hang out all the time.” Newt grabbed Daisy’s box and hustled Hermann to the car.

Hermann pretended like it wasn’t going to be awesome, but he had treats hidden in his pocket just in case.

Daisy was cautiously excited. Outdoors, hooray?! That one time with the rain and the dinosaur and the getting lost had been kind of awful, but since then Hermann had taken Daisy on short walks, let her roll around in the yard under his watchful eye and now Daisy was optimistic about today. Except… except this was the first time she had been unable to see home. She chirped anxiously as it disappeared from view, propping her front legs on the outside of the box and craning her neck.

“Hush, hush, it will be all right, little Daisy,” Hermann crooned, tucking her back into the box and scratching her head. At least she had her towel this time. And her humans.

This was the longest Daisy had been in a car since she had been taken home from the lab. She had a moment of panic that they were taking her back before she realized how stupid that would be. Her humans would be an absolute mess without her. Towels everywhere, all that extra food, no one to wake them up. Chaos, utter chaos. The jeep rolled to a stop and Hermann gently lifted Daisy out of the box before stepping out of the jeep. He carried her to a giant tree stump next to a copse of trees. Newt hopped up and sat on the tree stump before making grabby hands at Daisy. Hermann carefully settled Daisy next to Newt before turning to the stand of trees.

THE TREES STARTED MOVING.

Not trees NotTrees NOTTREES! Daisy chirped urgently, scurrying to hide behind Newt. She trumpeted for Hermann to run back to the safety of the herd, her panicked kazoo-like noise cracking Newt up. “It’s ok, little Twoie, you’re ok, Herms is ok, we’re all good.” Daisy trumpeted again, and was answered by a deep thundering trumpet noise from the stand of trees. The Not-Trees were… a dinosaur? Daisy peered around Newt to see Hermann approach a giant brachiosaurus. “That is Daisy 1. She’s… kind of like your sister? No, um… genetic precursor? No. Er, Grandma? Daisy 1 is kind of your Grandma.”

Daisy didn’t know what a Grandma was or how dangerous a creature it might be, but she didn’t like Hermann being so close to it.

Trumpet! (Newt giggles.)  
TRUMPET! (Newt giggles.)  
TRUMPET gasp TRUMPET gasp (Newt laughs so hard he falls off the tree stump.)

Daisy was having an absolute fit, running around in circles and trumpeting continuously. She didn’t notice Hermann until he leaned over to pick her up. “Shhh, Liebling, shhhh. I knew it was a mistake to take her here,” he scolded Newton.

“Totally not. Best vine ever,” Newt hooted from the ground, taking pictures with his phone.

“Barbarian,” Hermann sniffed, gently carrying Daisy towards the giant Brachiosaurus. He held the trembling pygmy dinosaur up towards the giant lowering head of Daisy 1. They both flinched as Newt began singing ‘The Circle of Life’.

“Must you?!”

Newt paused to say, “Yes. I must,” before bellowing out, “NANTSINGONYAMABAGITHIBABA!”

Daisy hissed, both at the off-key rendition and at the approaching danger. A puff of warm air washed over her as the larger dinosaur wuffed and sniffed at her, and Daisy immediately calmed at the smell of herd. Big herd, mind you, but still part of her herd, same as Daisy and Hermann.

“Not a snack,” Hermann admonished as the larger Daisy leaned a bit too close.

Daisy 2 stood and stretched out her neck as long as she could, sniffing fiercely before licking Daisy 1’s nose. Dual “Awwwwww”s from the two humans quickly morphed into hysterical laughter from Newt as the older Daisy returned the favor and licked them with a giant tongue.

Little Daisy blinked, covered in slime. She chirped at Hermann questioningly, and he said, “Ew. The meet and greet is officially over. Newton, grab the towel!” Daisy managed one more quick trumpet at the newest and largest member of her herd before she was frantically swaddled and shoved back in her box.

A bath and a game of hide the towel later, Daisy was curled up in Hermann’s lap trying to sleep. Hermann was simultaneously petting Daisy and yelling at Newt for posting a picture of Hermann covered in dinosaur spit to Instagram.

“But I made the good one of you and the Daisys my profile pic and wallpaper, see?” Hermann was momentarily distracted by the adorable picture that Newt had captured right at the moment little Daisy had licked big Daisy on the nose. “You’ll have to try harder than that to make it up to me,” Hermann said.

Newt eventually did figure out how to make it up to him, and a painting of the Daisys first meeting was soon hanging next to the one of Stacker Pentecost riding a T-Rex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No idea if anyone is at all interested in hearing about Daisy, but I have at least 1 chapter left before I can let it go.


	6. Hannibal Chau wants a pet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hannibal Chau kidnaps Daisy and Falafel in order to corner the market in dinosaurs-as-pets. He did not expect to fall in love with a certain adorable little brachiosaur.... Meanwhile, Hermann is desperate enough to do something he very well may regret... And Newt eats some chocolate.

“Didn’t you read the memo?”

“The fuck kind of criminal organization has memos?”

“The organized kind, you little shit. Now shut up and tell me about the mini-dinos.” 

A raised eyebrow. “Shut up AND tell you?”

“Five seconds, kid, then there’s a knife in your eyeball.” 

Dietrich relented. He knew how far he could push. “So your genetics team says they were unable to create a viable embryo from the specimens that that prick Dennis snagged us, that without a living dinosaur to model off of that it would take some kind of crazy super-genius.”

“Your point?” 

“That until we have either a crazy genius – aka my brother and his boyfriend – or a living dinosaur, you are shit out of luck on the dinosaur front.” 

“Again, point? Mini-dinos? Where are you going with this shit?” 

“Somehow, my brother’s boyfriend – as a birthday present, who does that? – created small pygmy versions of dinosaurs. At the moment there are two specimens, a brachiosaur and a velociraptor. They are holding off on mass production until they have more data on adaptability as pets, environment, blah blah bullshit bullshit. If we jump ahead of this and are able to start selling pygmy dinosaurs within the next 5 months we stand to corner the pet market in its entirety. 'Cause who doesn’t want a tiny pet dinosaur?” 

“Huh.”

“And I’ve talked to the idiots over in genetics and they thought they might, might, maybe might be able to model the larger dinosaurs off of the smaller ones and we could make that work too. Finally.”

“What about like pygmy elephants or whales? Kang was talking about giraffes at one point?”

“Doesn’t really transfer over from extinct reptile birds to mammals. Unless you’re Hermann’s boyfriend, he could probably do it. Oh my god, I should totally text him that I want giant flamingos for Christmas.” 

“Focus, asshole. Can you get them?”

“Yeah, all of the updated security revolves around the tech. This is a smash-and-grab, burglar-hobbit-ing private residences. As long as I’m not trying to hack anything or go into unauthorized areas, it’ll be cake. Can I have Fang as my driver again? Hey, do you think people can be allergic to dinosaurs? Is that like a thing?” 

“Shut up. Get out. Get me the dinosaurs.” 

Dietrich saluted before jogging out of the throne room. Hannibal Chau leaned back on his gleaming throne, a flash of light catching his gold teeth as he smiled. “Pet dinosaur, huh? Sounds kinda cute.” 

…..

Daisy was not feeling well. If she had the brainpower to feel regret she would regret having eaten Newt’s curry. In her defense, he did leave it on the coffee table for five seconds unattended. In his defense, it was super-spicy-death-curry, and no living creature (aside from Newt) should have found it at all appetizing, even idiot pygmy brachiosaurs like Daisy. That didn’t stop Hermann from yelling at Newt when Daisy threw up in his shoes. 

Daisy rolled over in her nest, feet in the air and belly stretched out. She heard the front door open and let out a feeble chirp, angling her neck in order to look extra pathetic. She was irritated when no immediate attention was forthcoming, and even more irritated that when she went to see why she was roughly grabbed and stuffed into a cat-carrier. 

And she was severely pissed off when they shoved her arch-nemesis, Falafel the pygmy velociraptor, in with her. A bumpy ride, much hissing and six hours later, the carrier door opened and Daisy came charging out, trumpeting, followed by a wobbly velociraptor (Falafel had spent at least two of the last six hours squashed under an irate and much-larger-than-Falafel brachiosaurus). Daisy was immediately scooped up by large hands. 

“Aw. He’s kinda cute,” Hannibal said, holding Daisy out at arm’s length. 

“She,” said Dietrich, trying to scoot Falafel back into the cage with little success. 

Daisy chirped pathetically at the sound of a voice that was close to Hermann’s, but not quite. She was definitely still not feeling well, needed a bath, and after the stressful trip here she was reaching the end of her (admittedly tiny) rope. 

Hannibal Chau held the miniature brachiosaurus up to his face, eyes hidden behind dark glasses. Daisy decided that this would be the ideal time to puke.

“Well, shit.” 

…..

Newt was frantic. He had come home at lunch to feed Daisy (“It’s your turn, Newton,” Hermann said sternly, even though Newt had been elbow deep in a dissection and Hermann merely had a tele-class to teach), and he could not find her. Not in her nest, not curled up in the sink, not in the garbage can; he even ran outside and checked under the porch. It was on his way back inside that he noticed that the door handle was loose and that the wooden frame around the lock was scraped. Newt swore violently and called Hermann, swearing again when it went straight to voicemail. He shouted into the phone, “SOMEONE BROKE INTO OUR HOUSE AND STOLE OUR BABY!” before scurrying around, checking locks and hopelessly shaking the treat box. 

By the time Hermann had finished his lecture and checked his voicemail, Newt had settled and was clicking through security video from the last few hours. They didn’t have any cameras in their house, of course (creepy), but there were a few on the main road and hundreds in the park itself and by the docks. 

Newt expected Hermann to come screaming into the house, he even had a bike helmet next to him on the couch just in case Herms got a little swingy with the cane, but what he didn’t expect was quiet Hermann. Quiet Hermann was scary, and Newt had only seen him twice; directly following Newt’s motorcycle accident, and once when Newt thought Hermann was cheating on him (which was stupid, in hindsight, but Newt was stupidly jealous sometimes). Quiet Hermann was the one who would drain their college vice-president’s bank account after the asshole reduced an adjunct professor friend of his to tears, who would put Newt’s ex-boyfriend on an international watch list and flag his visa after a particularly nasty email, and it was Quiet Hermann who remotely programmed all of the computers in Donald Trump’s campaign headquarters to play the nastiest hentai tentacle porn on loop. 

Quiet Hermann would take the last square of toilet paper, and feel no remorse. 

Newt looked up from the couch as Hermann quietly closed the door behind him and opened his mouth to explain when Hermann said, “Owen is on speaker phone.” 

“Owen? What-“

“I have about 10 seconds of video from camera 8HM, sending it over now. I was gonna take Flaffy to visit her big sisters and there was glass fucking everywhere.” 

Newt frenetically brought up his email and clicked through to the video. He felt Hermann sit next to him on the couch, grumble, and shove the bike helmet to the floor before settling in to watch the computer.

Newt knew the second that Hermann stopped breathing that something really horrible had happened. 

“Stop the video,” Hermann choked out, and Newt froze the video on a still of about 20 people getting off of a boat. It didn’t take long to spot Hermann’s brother with a cat carrier. 

“How the hell did he get that through quarantine?” Newt muttered, gently unclenching Hermann’s frozen hands and scooching closer to his traumatized science husband. “We got it, Owen, good job.” 

Hermann’s inarticulate growls of rage almost covered up Owen’s reply, “Let me know if you need anything. The little guy is a pain in the ass mini-raptor, but he’s my pain in the ass mini-raptor.” 

Newt grabbed the phone from Hermann’s unresponsive hand and ended the call, not coincidentally winding up sprawled across the other man’s lap. “So-“ Newt started, before Hermann jerked himself to his feet and sent Newt crashing into the coffee table, “ow.” 

“WAS FÜR EIN ARSCHLOCK-DRECKSAU-ARSCHMADE!” Hermann bellowed, actually stomping his feet. 

“Mensch, reiss dich zusammen,” Newt muttered, rolling off the coffee table and stumbling to a mostly vertical position. 

“AAAAAAHHHHH!”

“Ok, ow, my ears? Hermann, love –“

“AAAAAAHHHHH!” 

Hermann ran into the office and feverishly began typing on one of the side computers; the large central monitor flickered to life and as Newt dragged himself into the den behind his boyfriend he wondered if the ringing in his ears was from Hermann’s screaming or something else. 

It was a telephone. 

“Why are we skyping someone right now?” Newt collapsed into a chair, rolling himself the two feet to Hermann’s side. 

Hermann twitched as the screen flickered and they were looking at an extreme close-up of Hermann’s brother Dietrich’s left eyeball. 

“Oh hey, I’m glad you called,” Dietrich said, moving the phone away from his face. 

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!” Hermann yelled at the screen.

Dietrich kept talking in a low voice, “’cause for some reason your little dude is throwing up and I don’t know if dinosaurs get, like, seasick, or what because she’s not eating anything and Chau is getting kind of worried.” 

“DIEEETRICH!!!” 

“Oh, and I can tell you are yelling, but the sound is off on my end because they’re asleep and it’s kind of adorable and I knew you’d be pretty shouty.” The picture wobbled as Dietrich swung his phone around to show them an extravagantly opulent red velvet couch. Newt and Hermann clearly saw Hannibal Chau, giant and even more terrifying than his gruesome mugshots, fast asleep on the couch with a tiny brachiosaurus cradled to his chest. Newt could feel Hermann relax fractionally as they saw Daisy contentedly twitch in her sleep and wiggle until her neck was comfortable. 

“GIVE ME MY PET BACK!”

Newt grabbed a piece of printer paper and scribbled ‘GIVE ME MY PET BACK’ on it before holding it up to the monitor. 

“No can do, he’s pretty attached now. It’s kind of weird, like he tried hand-feeding it and totally rocked it to sleep.” Dietrich explained, turning the phone back to his face. 

“GIVE ME MY PET BACK, YOU DOUCHE-CANOE!” 

“Nice.” Newt said, “But maybe I can take it from here, just for a little bit? You look like you’re going to have a stroke.” Newt gently maneuvered his boyfriend around until he was sitting with his head between his knees, and then turned to the monitor. 

‘Can we talk?’ Newt signed at the screen. After a moment’s hesitation, Dietrich nodded his head and the video jostled as he walked into a different room. Newt heard a click and said, “Ok?” 

“Ok.” 

“So, in case you can’t read lips,” Newt said, “Hermann just called you a douche-canoe, and I must agree with that statement.” 

Dietrich had the grace to look slightly abashed. “I didn’t really think of this amazing billion dollar scientific breakthrough as, like, my brother’s pet.” 

“Douche-canoe,” Hermann wheezed, head still between his knees. 

“What the fuck, man?” Newt said, “I knew you were a horrible human being, but messing with pets is just a whole other level of loathsomeness.” 

“Hey, what Hannibal wants, Hannibal gets. Look, he’s keeping her, it’s a done deal – so your options are to help us make her better, or let her suffer and possibly die because we don’t know how to take care of her?” 

Newt was speechless for 12 seconds as he processed that, yes, Dietrich was fucking evil, before he said, “I have never hated anyone more than I hate you, except possibly Dennis Nedry or Hermann when he hasn’t eaten anything for a week.” 

Dietrich made a face and said, “And imagine that in middle school. I accidently knocked over a bird’s nest and you would have thought from his reaction that I’d nuked Disneyland.”

“Those memories will seem a paradise compared to what I will do to you,” Hermann raised his head and spoke; “You have until tomorrow to return my beloved pet. And also the tiny abomination known as Falafel.” 

“Ok, so, no?” Dietrich said, confused. 

Hermann didn’t say anything else, so Newton quickly spoke, “I actually wrote a huge paper on the dietary and habitat needs of the park dinosaurs, most of it holds true for the minis except that you HAVE to cook any meat that you give Falafel and Daisy should always have some kind of veggie to snack on, she’s really picky, so like salad bar style would be ideal, ya know, UNTIL WE GET THERE TO KICK YOUR ASS AND RESCUE OUR BABIES.” 

The connection abruptly broke and the screen went black. “Not even a thank you? Rude.” Newt turned to Hermann, who slowly stood up, leaned over to grab the desk chair, and then hurled it at the television monitor. 

“Fuck, babe, it’ll be ok, shhhhh, shhhh,” Newt found himself awkwardly cradling Hermann, who was much taller than he was and sobbing. Newt carefully stepped over the broken monitor and chair bits, dragging Hermann to the couch before falling over and pulling his boyfriend down with him. 

“We will get her back, I promise,” Newt said helplessly, squished underneath Hermann, “We’re geniuses, right? Plus we have the backing of the whole park, I’m sure Stacker will fly us there in like a military helicopter with an army of raptor riding rangers at our back!” 

…..

Stacker did not fly them to Hannibal Chau in a military helicopter with an army of rangers, raptor riding or otherwise, at their back. He listened very gravely to Owen, Hermann and Newt, quietly offered his condolences and explained the basics of international extradition law and foreign autonomy. 

“So that’s a no?” Owen asked. Hermann still looked like he was going to pass out any second and Newt, being Newt, just wanted a candy bar. They went back to Newt’s lab to get a candy bar (Hermann perked up just long enough to chide, “Why, Newton, would you keep anything that you are intending to ingest in your laboratory, of all places?”), and Newt banished all his minions so that the three of them could sulk in peace. 

Five minutes later Newt and Owen were playing extreme M&M lacrosse with funnels and office chairs, while Hermann stared fitfully at his phone. 

“Fine. Fine!” Hermann said out of nowhere, and dialed a number; “I’m calling in a favor.” 

…..

Hannibal was in love. Crazy, hearts and flowers, truly in love. He crouched down, holding out a celery stick with peanut butter on it. “C’mere, you little punk.” He grinned as he heard Daisy trying to sneak around behind him. “AHA! Gotcha!” He scooped her up and swung her around before cuddling the tiny dinosaur to his chest. “Not so sneaky, dumbass,” he said fondly, scratching her chin as she munched her treat. 

“Uh, boss?” one of his minions asked. Hannibal turned, still managing to look intimidating despite being covered in peanut butter holding an adorable miniature dinosaur. 

“WHAT,” he barked, and the man jumped. Daisy blinked, but was now accustomed enough to the shouting that she continued to loudly eat celery.

“Uh, it’s just, you were supposed to be at the warehouse today?” 

“I’m the boss. Part of being the boss is taking the day off. How is this a difficult concept?”

“Uh, right, but Fang called and said there’s a fire and some Navy guys or something?”

“Goddamn it.” Hannibal sighed. “Get that little shit Gottlieb and bring the car around.” 

Dietrich was enough like Hermann that Daisy was ok with hanging out with him when Hannibal was busy, and Hannibal refused to crate the dinosaur after she started making the most pathetic whining noises. 

“Seriously?” Dietrich appeared in the doorway, “I have better stuff to do than babysit.”

“No, actually, you don’t,” Hannibal wrapped Daisy in her favorite blanket and gently passed her to the other man. Hannibal had tried letting the miniature velociraptor have free reign, but after two aborted play-dates with Daisy he decided that the crate was probably a better idea. Although Hannibal did let Falafel loose in the lab to terrorize the techs when they fucked up his new prototype. Fun times. 

“Daddy will be back in an hour, yes he will,” Hannibal cooed at Daisy, throwing a quick glare at Dietrich before he was out the door. 

“Want to watch Land Before Time again?” Dietrich asked Daisy, disdainfully flicking celery off of his coat sleeve and wandering over to the television. As he reached for the remote he saw movement behind him reflected on the screen and whirled, holding the miniature brachiosaurus in front of him as a shield. 

A petite blond woman was standing primly in the middle of the room, impeccably dressed and holding a cat carrier in one hand. Dietrich paled; “Fuck. Now that’s just mean, sending you.” 

She smiled. 

…..

It had been two days. Hermann refused to leave the house or tell Newt what was going on, only periodically looking up from his phone to swat Newt away with his cane. Hermann hated texting, and Newt had seen him text more in the last day than in the entire time they had known each other. Newt was hardly idle, coming up with crazy plans and running them by Owen while drinking a lot of beer. Newt was careful not to leave Hermann alone for too long, microwaving meals and leaving cups of tea surreptitiously nearby. Newt had hardly slept, running solely on caffeine and sugar, so when the knock came at their door he jumped and banged his head into a cabinet.

Hermann ran through the kitchen, Newt close enough behind to almost get hit again when Hermann flung open the front door. A petite blond woman was standing on their porch in a large pink sunhat and flowery dress. “Karla?” Newt asked his boyfriend’s sister. 

“Hello, darlings,” she said, giving Hermann a quick peck on the cheek. “I heard you were having a hard time and thought I’d drop by. I brought gifts.” She stepped aside to reveal a pet carrier. 

“Wha-“ Newt was asking, but Hermann was already on his knees, gently opening the carrier and pulling out a disoriented tiny dinosaur. “Daisy?!” Newt said incredulously, watching as his boyfriend tearfully reunited with his beloved pet. “How?” He kneeled next to them, gently running his hands over Daisy’s head, leaning in to kiss Hermann’s cheek. He looked up at Karla, who smiled benevolently at them before saying, “She’s a sweetheart. The other one, though, gave me some trouble.”

As though summoned, Falafel popped her head out of the cat carrier and glared around before realizing she was home. Newt reached for the case as the tiny velociraptor gleefully clawed her way out of the bag and dashed towards the tree line. Newt scrambled after her chanting, “Shit. Shit. Shit.” Hermann laughed and tugged his sister down next to him, still cradling Daisy in his arms. 

“Thank you.” 

“Well, you did call in your favor. I thought I’d never get that off my ledger, you’ve been hanging on to that since you were, what, seven?” Karla said, leaning against Hermann and patting Daisy’s head. 

“Did you have any trouble?” Hermann asked. 

“I caused a little damage,” Karla said, “But the shit had it coming. Who does that, steals their sibling’s pet? I mean, really, if we weren’t related he wouldn’t be breathing right now.”

Hermann, who had hoped for some retribution but was feeling conflicted about having his sister beat up his brother for him, asked, “Not too much damage, I hope?”

Karla laughed. “Chau found him tied up in the closet with a broken leg, two gunshot wounds and covered in lipstick penises.”

“Two? When I called the hospital they said three gunshot wounds.” 

“From all accounts Chau had gotten pretty attached to your little pet, he must not have been pleased about Dietrich letting her go so easily.” She smiled.

Karla stayed for dinner. Falafel terrified the local fauna for two weeks before being recaptured by Owen. Hermann and Newt sent Dietrich a ‘get well soon’ card that simply read, “You had it coming.” And when pet dinosaurs finally went on the market eight months later, Hannibal Chau was the first in line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter! I've been planning this one out for a while and it kind of got away from me. I hope you've enjoyed meeting Daisy and Falafel, thank you for reading!


End file.
